I am lying in my moms bed in Huntington Beach. I don't feel like my head has shrapnel in it. It is very calm here.
What I just wrote to a friend:
"Today, it is windy. I have yet to look outside but I can see the light change because of the trees swaying and I can hear the howls. I have yet to decide what I want to eat but I know my selections: Fiesta Grill, Jan's Health Bar or the cafe on Orange Street... and they are all near my house. I'm going to bring the magazines that don't get delivered to my apartment in San Francisco and read through them to catch up on photographs and articles I assume. You know me, I eat up photos.
I'm trying to reconnect with those that ground me. You know, all those people you love and care about. I have a mental list of people in Orange County and a pretty vague but easy to figure out list of people in Los Angeles to visit."
San Francisco was never a home to me but always regarded as a temporary stay. A place to transition from one thing or being to the next. I have yet to receive what I want from that city so therefore, I am still a resident there. But that will change within the next year.
I guess these are my New Year's resolutions, or just shit I've had on a list that I've been meaning to get to for a while that turned into a New Year's resolution on accident:
Get a job
Develop my photography
Cycle and compete
I believe LA will be my next stay, and I believe I will want to move on to a bigger place once it feels smaller. I feel like a hermit crab. "I can't get no satisfaction."
Complaints against San Francisco:
-EVERYONE does coke. I try my best to be open but my body and mind cringe when around it, always.
-The lack of industry: fashion photography, stylists, make-up artists, clothing companies, magazines and music. And what little of the industry is there, it is small-time, mediocre or less.
-The lack of pretty women. They are endangered and soon to be extinct in San Francisco.
-The surplus of hipsters, trashy and pudgy women.
-Fixed gear bicycles.
-The repetitiveness of the city: same people, same clothing, same interests.
-The few close friends I have in San Francisco. It's funny that all of them are not from San Francisco. Instead, they are from Chile, Orange County and Bolivia. That says a lot.
-The cost of living. I pay $950 a month plus utilities for a studio that scares my guests.
Reasons why I love San Francisco:
-The architecture is one to appreciate. The Victorian houses, the downtown buildings and the towers of the Financial District are all delights. It feels a little like New York.
-Public transportation is amazing. I left my car in Huntington Beach and I haven't driven it since last January. BART and MUNI take care of you.
-Air quality is bomb.
-Cycling. I am referring to cycling outside of the city which most of the kids on fixed gears never do. It is absolutely beautiful. The hills, the green countryside, the wild turkeys, the ran over deer in the bike lanes and the empty country roads. You can't ask for more. Also, San Francisco offers a plethora of races, teams and bike shops.
-FOOOOOOOOOOD is bomb. The best Mexican food I have ever had. The bakeries, Vietnamese food, Thai, Chinese, Italian... the pizza!! I can go on and on.
-The progressiveness of the city. All employers must provide health insurance to their employees. I don't even know where to start on the countless examples one can provide. But San Francisco is a place for ideas to happen, for change to happen. It is the city that is the testing waters for a new idea which the rest of country can adopt. It serves as a model for transportation, health care and countless other things. The openness to religion and sex this city has is commendable. Muslims, Jews, Christians, Buddhist and everything else except Scientology is welcome.
-I like the weather dearly. The things you can wear and the seasons you can feel make it charming and merrymaking.
I just don't see a future in San Francisco, but I will miss it dearly. There are so many reasons to appreciate this city.